“Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.” (1 John 3:15, ESV)
When I was a young boy I spoke to my mother of hating some particular thing. While I no longer remember what it was I expressed my hatred toward, I vividly remember the dialogue that ensued. My mother told me I should not hate anything, to which I responded, “Well then, I dislike it completely.”
While my mom found my wordsmithing humorous, it raises an interesting question: What is the difference between a mere dislike and hatred? How does one know when they have crossed the line from disliking someone or something to actually hating that thing or person?
Thinking to Believe 
July 8, 2011 at 5:45 am
I always remember my folks correcting me and saying I merely disliked something/someone rather than hating.
I always assume that hate is filled with thoughts that are not from God, but rather the enemy and that hatred will drive out love.
An example would be a dislike vs a hate of say spiders: disliking them merely means not touching, or staying away. A hatred would have you looking for them enjoying the moment as you squish the life out of it (laughing incoherently – ok, that last bit is an exagerration!)
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July 8, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Scott,
I think you are on the an important distinction between dislike and hatred. Hatred desires evil to befall someone. I might dislike someone because I find their personality annoying or due to their behavior, but I would never desire to harm that person, or desire that they be harmed. Hatred, however, seems to desire and delight in evil befalling the person. So perhaps one can determine if their dislike for someone has crossed the line into hatred by examining whether or not they would like to see that person harmed. What do you think?
Are there any other criteria you can think of?
Jason
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July 8, 2011 at 8:32 pm
I’ve always thought that hate means wishing somebody or something dead.
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July 9, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Arthur,
Does it have to be that extreme to be considered hatred? It seems to me if you ever wish harm in any form to come upon someone (either inflicted by you or by another party), that this qualifies as hatred.
Jason
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July 9, 2011 at 6:34 pm
My brother-in-law had a good suggestion. He suggested that the difference between dislike and hatred is the ability/willingness to forgive. If you truly hate someone, you will be unwilling/incapable of forgiving them.
Jason
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July 10, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Jason,
I think the scripture you quoted supports my view. Why is a person who hates a “murderer”? Because hate is wishing somebody dead. A hater has committed murder in his heart, just as one who lusts after his neighbor’s wife has committed adultery in his heart.
Arthur
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July 11, 2011 at 11:35 am
Arthur,
I agree that hate surely includes the desire to kill someone (or have them killed), I just don’t think that hatred requires such a desire.
Jason
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July 11, 2011 at 11:41 am
I was thinking about this some more and I’m not sure that hatred is merely the desire to see a person harmed. For example, I hoped that Osama bin Laden would eventually be caught and killed for what he had done, and I was glad when he was. I wanted justice, and justice required his death. Surely that is a desire to see a person harmed, and yet I would not say that I hated Osama. I just wanted justice.
If it’s possible to want to see someone harmed (for the sake of justice) without hating them, then the desire to see someone harmed cannot be the essence of hatred. Something more is required, but I’m not sure what.
Jason
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August 6, 2011 at 5:59 am
I’ve got one more idea: Obama was supposed to die as a consequence for what he had done, not because u did not like him as a person (even though u probably would not like him as a person). I would say, that hatred is turned against the person and her identitiy in a way comparable to the way love is turned towards a person. U probably wouldn’t say that u love ur wife for something she has done just like god does not love us for something we have done. If we hate a person, we also do not hate her for something she has done. We just have that deadly (and I would say it is deadly) deep feeling towards her in exactly that place in our heart where love is supposed to be.
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November 29, 2012 at 11:01 am
Psalms 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
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January 27, 2013 at 9:27 pm
I HATE murder but was chastised by someone for it. How can one NOT hate murder. I HATE Satan. I HATE rape and child abuse. Hate as defined means to intensely dislike. This idea that one should not hate is simply another lie from the deceiver that leads us to stand by and allow evil to rein.
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September 29, 2014 at 11:31 pm
I think if you dislike being in the company of a person who makes fun of you, and says things that hurt you, or is critical and argumentive. You may have good reason to say you don’t like them, is just staying away from them saying you don’t like them or hate them?
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