Those who wish to change the historic definition of marriage so as to include couples of the same sex often argue that marriage is a fluid institution with an evolutionary history. One of their favorite examples is polygamy. Polygamy used to be an acceptable form of marriage, but such is no longer the case in most societies. They think it follows that if the definition of marriage is flexible enough to change in this fashion, then it should be capable of including people of the same sex as well.
The problem with this argument is that polygamy is not an exception to the “male and female” understanding of marriage. Rather, it is an exception to the concept of monogamy. Polygamy did not involve multiple partners in a single marriage, but rather multiple, concurrent marriages. This can be demonstrated by the following:
- Each wife entered into a marriage with the man at different points in time.
- It was possible for the man to divorce one wife without divorcing all his wives.
- The women in the relationship only viewed the man as their spouse, not the other women.
Western civilization’s insistence on monogamy has done nothing to change the historic definition of marriage. It has only limited the number of marriages a person can enter into.
Same-sex marriage advocates also sight the evolution of the status of women in marriage as an example of marriage’s evolutionary history. In the past women were viewed as property and often treated poorly, whereas today women are viewed as and treated as equal to men. But this is not an example of the definition of marriage being changed. It’s an example of evolving attitudes toward the female spouse in a marriage. When women were viewed as property marriage involved a man and a woman, and now that women are no longer viewed as property marriage involves a man and a woman. No evolution here.
Finally, same-sex marriage advocates point to anti-miscegenation laws (laws prohibiting marriages of mixed race) as proof of marriage’s evolution. In the past blacks and whites were not allowed to marry, but now they are. A few things need to be noted. First, this is not an evolution to the definition of marriage as one man and one woman. Same-race and mixed-race marriages both involved a single man and single woman. Secondly, race and sex are completely different. Sex, not race, is integral to the concept of marriage because sex is directly related to procreation, which is the reason governments involve themselves in the marriage business in the first place. Thirdly, anti-miscegenation laws were only necessary because it was recognized that mixed-race marriages were legitimate marriages, hence the need to outlaw them. Anti-miscegenation laws were racially motivated laws intended to prevent legitimate—but undesirable—marriages from being formed. This is in stark contrast to same-sex marriage, in which it is the inability of people of the same sex to marry one another that is the cause for anti-same-sex legislation. As Maggie Gallagher writes:
The Supreme Court overturned anti-miscegenation laws because they frustrated the core purpose of marriage in order to sustain a racist legal order. Marriage laws, by contrast, were not invented to express animus toward homosexuals or anyone else. Their purpose is not negative, but positive: They uphold an institution that developed, over thousands of years, in thousands of cultures, to help direct the erotic desires of men and women into a relatively narrow but indispensably fruitful channel. We need men and women to marry and make babies for our society to survive. We have no similar public stake in any other family form–in the union of same-sex couples or the singleness of single moms.[1]
The editors at National Review Online similarly write:
Same-sex marriage is often likened to interracial marriage, which the law once proscribed. But the reason governments refused to recognize (and even criminalized) interracial marriages was not that they did not believe that such marriages were possible; it is that they wanted to discourage them from happening, in the interests of white supremacy. Sexual complementarity is a legitimate condition of marriage because of the institution’s orientation toward children; racial homogeneity has nothing to do with that orientation. Laws against interracial marriage thus violated the right to form an actual marriage in a way that laws defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman do not violate it.[2]
The fact of the matter is that the definition of marriage has always been the same: one man and one woman. Same-sex marriage would not be a minor variation on this theme, but a complete gutting of marriage’s core concept.
[1] Maggie Gallagher, “What Marriage Is For;” available from http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/002/939pxiqa.asp?pg=2; Internet, accessed 23 December 2003. Originally appeared under the title “Children Need Mothers and Fathers” in the August 4, 2003 issue, Vol. 8, Issue 45, of The Weekly Standard.
[2] National Review Online editors, “The Case for Marriage”; available from http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/print/245649; Internet; accessed 10 September 2010.
September 8, 2011 at 5:19 am
So argument is that marriage in its essence is only a male and female entering into a contract together with sex involved? In essence it doesn’t have to be exclusive it just has to be somehow contractual and sexual? And as long as that essence hasn’t changed then marriage hasn’t changed?
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September 9, 2011 at 10:51 am
“Same-sex marriage would not be a minor variation on this theme, but a complete gutting of marriage’s core concept.”
The implication here, which I believe is false, is that somehow the marriages of heterosexuals will change.
Same sex marriage causes no harm, does not change straight marriage, and makes sense under the law in our country.
So, we should allow it. Period.
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September 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm
El Bryan Libre,
I’m not sure I understand your point fully, but if t doesn’t seem to be related to my point. This post is not an argument for traditional marriage, for any historic form of traditional marriage, or against same-sex marriage. I am simply looking at whether or not the “evolutionary” argument for SSM is sound. I argue that it’s not, because none of the variations we see on the marriage theme SSM-advocates site involve a departure from the male-female prerequisite. Most of them (mixed race marriages, how women are treated) do not even constitute a material change to the idea of marriage. The only big change is polygamy, but as I point out, that was simply the allowance for having multiple marriages at once. They fully understood that a marriage was between a man and woman. So SSM is not just one more step in the evolution of the idea of marriage, but an entirely different idea. Marriage has always been about sexual complimentarity.
Jason
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September 9, 2011 at 1:16 pm
NotAScientist,
No, that is not the implication of that sentence. The point is simply that it is false to claim the idea of “same-sex marriage” is just another minor variation on the idea of marriage. It’s an entirely different concept of what marriage is.
Same sex marriage relates as much to the concept of marriage as the idea of “male hysterectomies” relates to the concept of hysterectomies. There is no relationship whatsoever. Marriage has always been for the purpose of bringing two sexual-halves together to produce a single sexual whole, who in turn produce and rears offspring in order to promulgate society. Same-sex relationships have no relationship to such an idea. They do not constitute a sexual whole, and they do not produce children.
As for the idea that SSM will cause no harm, I address that here: https://theosophical.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/why-the-debate-over-same-sex-marriage-matters/
And I disagree that it makes sense under the laws of this country. The only reason government is involved in regulating marital relationships is because marital relationships typically produce children. The government is interested in children and the rearing of children because the government is interested in the self-preservation of society. Apart from children, the government has no vested interest in regulating private relationships. Why should they care who loves who, or who is having sex with whom, apart from their concern for children? Same-sex couples do not produce children, and thus there is no need for government to regulate their relationships. It makes no more sense to regulate the love lives of same-sex couples than it makes to regulate the lives of friends. However personally fulfilling the people in such relationships may find them, the government has no vested interest in promoting or regulating them.
Jason
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September 9, 2011 at 1:20 pm
“It’s an entirely different concept of what marriage is.”
Not really. It’s two adults forming a bond based on love, friendship and sharing, and which leads to the formation of a family.
“The government is interested in children and the rearing of children”
And gay couples can rear children. Thanks to things like invitro fertilization and adoption.
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September 9, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Jason:
My point is trying to understand your argument.
It seems like your argument is that there is an essence to marriage that can be seen in all its variations through the centuries from the time of the Bible to our time and that essence basically defines the concept of marriage.That essence from what you have said seems to be that a man and a woman enter into a contract (agreement, covenant, whatever) with each other that involves sex (hopefully for procreation but not necessarily?) and that that is the essence of marriage and since that hasn’t changed throughout time, marriage hasn’t evolved. Is that your argument, or at least another way of phrasing it?
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September 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm
NotAScientist,
Marriage has never been about two adults in the general sense. It’s always been about two people of the opposite sex.
And single people can adopt. And single women can get in vitro. But these are clear exceptions to the norm. The government isn’t endorsing and regulating every kind of relationship that happens to come upon a child, but that kind of relationship that regularly and naturally produces children.
Jason
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September 12, 2011 at 2:36 pm
El Bryan Libre,
I wasn’t making an argument in this post. I was offering a rebuttal to an argument for same-sex marriage. I am have two contentions against the argument: (1) Marriage has not undergone an evolution, but has merely exhibited slight variations around the male-female pairing prerequisite; (2) Some of the examples of marital evolution having nothing to do with the definition of marriage.
I don’t believe marriage is even the kind of thing that can be defined by culture. Marriage is something we recognize for what it is. We can describe it, but we do not define it. Marriage is a natural institution that is culture-independent. Cultures are constructed by way of marriages, and thus culture cannot define or redefine marriage anymore than culture can define “human being.” Given the fact that marriage is a natural institution, it is not capable of evolution. You either have it, or you don’t. What can change are the contingencies of marriage, such as culture’s view on how spouse’s should relate to one another, or even how many spouses one should have. But in each case, the essence of marriage remains the same.
So what does the natural institution of marriage entail? It entails the sexual union of two sexual halves into a sexual whole. This union usually results in the production of children, and the marital union provides a natural context in which to rear the children produced via the union.
Jason
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September 12, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Jason,
I don’t think I said anything contrary to what you are saying. This feels like talking to a lawyer. Never mind, I remembered why I stopped trying to comment here.
Take care.
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September 12, 2011 at 5:03 pm
El Bryan Libre,
It sounds like I have offended you. I’m not sure what you found offensive, but I apologize nonetheless. I’m not trying to be offensive. And I’m not trying to sound like a lawyer either. I am merely trying to be clear myself and gain clarity from you: clarity as to what this post was about, and clarity regarding what my position is.
Jason
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September 12, 2011 at 5:06 pm
No offense.
Take care.
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September 21, 2011 at 8:05 am
The same argument could be used to defend marital rape, for example. Marriage has always been understood to necessarily include the man’s unassailable access to his wife. Sure, interracial marriage and monogamy were changes but they never changed this fundamental aspect of what it means to be married.
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September 21, 2011 at 9:26 am
Arthur,
Marital rape is not integral to a marriage relationship, whereas the gender of those in the marriage is. Again, how spouses relate to each other in a marriage can change (and in some cases, should change), but that is not a fundamental alteration of what marriage is.
Jason
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December 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Hi Jason!
This comment is a bit late, but I came across what you wrote and had similar ponderings- I did notice that even though “things” about marriage has changed over the years, the basic male-female structure was still there (so I do agree with you on that aspect).
A few lingering thoughts remain and I wonder how we can go about it.
1) so, you’re right that society has evolved in terms of how people view women and people of different races, yet somehow the two people involved were still a man and a woman.
Well….what if society is now changing its perspective on what marriage is about- that there is no need for a man and a woman now- that now the ingredient is love (as opposed to financial security). And this shift in perspective is partly a result of the fact that there are lots and lots of people born who are not “male” or “female” (having XXY or XXX chromosomes)- do we deny them the opportunity to engage in a marriage? Perhaps if we alter the definition (and this time around, it changes the male-female “tradition”, and allows for people with variations in biological gender as well as those with variations in orientations).
Because a problem exists with the male-female model: what if a transgendered male (a person with XX chromosomes identifying as a male) and a transgendered woman (a person born with XY chromosomes) were to get married. Yes, they are “male” and “female”, so there’s no problem, right? But in reality there is much more to each person’s sexuality and you cannot cleanly categorize everyone as “male” or “female”. So with this example, we are allowing people who have non-straight orientations marry. so, is our definition of marriage, that there must one spouse have XY chromosomes and the other spouse XX chromosomes, regardless of how they identify themselves?
2) related to #1: what is the solution for gay people? Forced celibacy? I personally feel that their sexual inclinations is neither worse nor better than the sexual inclinations of heterosexual people- we all have needs. So if they are to be excluded from marriage, who is doing the exclusion?
3)perhaps our desire to maintain the XX-XY model is a form of idolatry? we idolize how marriage is supposed to be instead of remembering God’s teachings about inclusion and love. Just a thought.
So, overall, I feel that part of the gay marriage debate is now hinging on whether or not marriage requires two people, one with XY and the other with XX chromosomes… and if we as a society feels that it is not necessary so that we can be inclusive, then I would feel that it doing so is the right thing to do with regards to respecting human dignity and far outweighs the efforts to adhere to the XX-XY model.
Looking forward to hearing what you think! 🙂
Happy holidays
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December 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Just wanted to expand on my thought about 1) perhaps society today, after learning more about the diversity within the realm of sexuality, we now ask Why? Why does marriage need to be exclusively for a couple wherein one must have XY and the other must have XX chromosomes?
It is entirely different from asking, why do we need someone with an XX and another with XY in order to create children- this can only be answered with biology and we can’t argue against the fact that yes, it is necessary that in order to reproduce, someone must inherently have XY chromosomes and the partner must have XX chromosomes.
It seems we are asking a different question: not about what’s required for procreation, but hats required for a marriage. Given our knowledge that there is so much diversity in this world- racial diversity, for instance- and now, sexual diversity, how are we to reconcile this with our understanding of marriage? If we wish to defend that marriage, just like procreation, requires an XX and an XY, then what are the implications? If society embraces sexual diversity and wishes to adjust the terms of marriage to accommodate such, what are the implications? Which of the two seem more reasonable?
As you pointed out, the terms of marriage has changed to take into account gender equality and racial equality. Should we stop at sexual equality, and if so, why? Should we simply ignore the beautiful sexual diversity in our world? what is our solution for such sexual diversity with regards to marriage?
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May 9, 2013 at 1:49 pm
Kim,
My response is a bit late as well. Sorry!
1. I would argue that marriage contains a basic structure that cannot change without marriage ceasing to be marriage. The sine qua non of marriage includes what Robert George et al call organic bodily union. That is to say, what distinguishes the marital relationship from all other kinds of relationships is that it unifies two people in body. The only way two people can be unified in body is through coitus (sexual intercourse) since our sexual organs are the only organs that are incomplete without the presence of a second person of the opposite sex. Your lungs work just fine on their own, and perform their intended function all by themselves. No one else is needed. But your sexual organ is the only organ that requires the assistance of a second person to function properly. That second person cannot be someone of the same sex, but must be someone of the opposite sex. If organic bodily union is a sine qua non of marriage, then same-sex couples can never have a marital relationship (despite what the law may call their relationship, since calling something X does not make it X). And society cannot simply redefine marriage so that organic bodily union is not necessary without destroying marriage itself, since organic bodily union is essential to the concept of marriage.
One thing we have to understand about marriage is that it is a natural institution. The state did not create it, but recognizes it for what it is, and regulates it because it is in their best interest to do so. When marriages are not formed children are not formed, and the State needs children in order to create the next generation of society. Or when marriages dissolve, it creates a problem for the State because children without both parents suffer in many ways, and often cause suffering for the State in many ways (crime, poverty, custody disputes, etc.). Marriage is a pre-political, natural institution in that marriages form naturally when two people of the opposite sex achieve organic bodily union and commit to the responsibility of rearing the children that typically result from such a union, together. Marriage is a natural institution because it is rooted in our biology, not the whims of society. No one had to come up with the idea of marriage, or agree as to how it should be defined. It is biologically evident what forms a marriage. What is culturally relative is how marriages are sealed (ceremonial differences), the expected role each spouse plays in the marriage, etc.
As for your point about biological oddities, this does not change what a marriage is and how it is formed. A marriage still involves organic, bodily unity. If two people cannot engage in the act that forms the beginning of the reproductive process (coitus), then their relationship is not of the marital sort. So long as they are sexually complimentary, it does not matter what their chromosomes might look like. It’s not about XX and XY chromosomes, but sexual complimentarity.
2. Notice the slant of your terminology: forced, excluded. First of all, no one is forcing anyone to do anything. Secondly, exclusion has a negative connotation about it. Would you say that a doctor who refuses a man’s request for a hysterectomy is “excluding” that man from a hysterectomy? No, because in virtue of being a man he cannot have a hysterectomy since such procedures only apply to women. Likewise, given the very nature of marriage, it only applies to opposite-sex couples. Those who choose to couple with a person of the same-sex are choosing to exclude themselves from marriage (and I don’t mean to say that they are choosing to have a desire for same-sex relationships, which is entirely different).
So what is the solution for persons who experience same-sex attraction? That depends on who you are talking about. If you are talking about non-Christians, they can do everything that married people do. A man can choose to love another man, and commit himself to that man forever. They can even have a ceremony to celebrate their decision. They can live together and share all things in common, and through legal options available to all citizens they can set up power of attorney for medical decisions and inheritance rights. The only thing they cannot experience is having their relationship legally recognized. But that in no wise affects their relationship.
If you are talking about Christians, then they have two options: celibacy, marriage to someone of the opposite sex. Regarding celibacy, many heterosexuals are “forced” into this option as well because they, for whatever reason, cannot find a mate. While we may not desire to live a life of celibacy, all of us are capable of doing so. The other option is to marry someone of the opposite sex. I’ve heard from homosexuals who did just that. Some of them have done so after they went through therapy, and had their feelings of same-sex attraction diminished, or both had their feelings of same-sex attraction diminished and gained opposite-sex attraction. One does not need to be exclusively attracted to females in order to marry a female, anymore than a man needs to be exclusively attracted to his wife in order to marry. He simply needs to remain faithful to her alone.
3. No, I don’t think it’s idolatry. It’s recognizing the natural form of marriage, and obeying God’s law as well. It cannot be idolatrous in either case. God’s teachings about inclusion and love do not nullify His teachings about what is moral and immoral.
I would highly suggest you purchase Robert George et al’s book What is Marriage? It is the best book you will ever read on the topic, and they argue the points in more depth and clarity than I ever could. They make it clear what marriage is, and that makes it clear why marriage requires a man and a woman.
Jason
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May 16, 2013 at 12:08 pm
[…] Marriage Has Evolved, so Same-Sex Marriage Should be Legal? […]
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