There is a difference between being enthralled/infatuated by someone, and being in love with someone. Enthrallment or infatuation is when you are consumed with your desire for someone else. Love, on the other hand, is the giving of oneself to another. It is caring for their needs as you would your own. It is doing all you can to make them a better person. In short, infatuation is self-consuming, while love is self-giving.
I tend to think that we have so confused the two in our culture that only a minority of couples ever experience true love. Instead, they experience intense periods of infatuation in the beginning of their relationship, and that gives their relationship the gas it needs to continue for a considerable distance. But like a car that only gets filled with gas in the beginning of a long trip, the relationship does not reach its intended destination of “til death do us part.” Only true love (or pure will and commitment) can fuel a relationship so that it can endure the many hardships of life.
May 3, 2014 at 6:44 pm
Jason:
Personally I have always objected to the phrase “til death do us part”, preferring instead the phrase, “as long as we both shall live”.
The term “true love” can only be coined in hindsight, not insight or foresight.
I believe all love begins with infatuation or intense desire; aka, sexual attraction and very few relationships have been forged otherwise. But some inftuations never end in love. Although some relationships have been fused by association when caring for others have bonded people together in a love that transcends the sexual design attraction of the human experience.
I believe that love’s attraction begins in the brain, through mere vision and transmits through the body according to hormones, chemicals and stimulations preprogrammed, love is not an intellectual exercise.
Love/infatuation/attraction does not require reciprocity to begin its process but compatibility, progress and genuine bonding depends on reciprocal mutual respect.
I believe all love is heterosexual in nature and that gender attraction is determined by the brain. Agape love embraces this concept, humans do not always operate on agape love.
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May 3, 2014 at 7:11 pm
I like your post and agree with you on most except couples should not say, “till death do us part.” This is a word curse. Death is the last enemy of the Saints to be defeated 1 Corinthians 15:26.
There are two accounts of creation in Genesis the first is the souls, the second is the flesh.
Also one person in a relationship can be filled with the Holy Spirit and Love and serve the other who is not filled. They are unequally yoked and eventually the Christian will run from the one filled with satan who uses and abuses (the lover of self).
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May 4, 2014 at 5:08 pm
I’m fine with either “till death do you part” or “as long as you both shall live”. “As long as you both shall live” I find says the same thing politely. “Till death do you part” though drives home the finality of your vow. Our vows ended in: “all the days of your life”. We thought that sounded like even if the other person died we were legally but not spiritually off the hook. My wife was happy she didn’t have to promise to obey me so I didn’t complain to the Priest.
I find being enthralled/infatuated is the first stage in most relationships as I understand you. Most couples I know had only superficial knowledge of the other person when they started dating. The problem occurs if the relationship doesn’t evolve from there or just one person evolves. Another main concern is, while still in that state of being enthralled/infatuated either party doesn’t find out if the other person is compatible or ignores warning signs. IMO, sadly most people don’t find “true love” or their “soul mate” but two people “can endure the many hardships of life” as well as have a happy relationship with support from their faith, family, shared experiences and friends.
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May 10, 2014 at 7:07 pm
Just a note to update a progress report:
Arkansas issues same-sex marriage licenses
EUREKA SPRINGS, Ark. (AP) — Gay marriage arrived in the Bible Belt on Saturday, beginning with two women who had traveled overnight to ensure they’d be first in line.
http://news.yahoo.com/arkansas-same-sex-couples-wed-judge-ends-gay-173826179.html
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